Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
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