JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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