mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
