What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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