Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Can you bring me the toilet please
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
