It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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