i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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