He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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