i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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