Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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