I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
