Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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