I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
we're chasing vodka with high fives
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
