Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
