im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize