You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We need a shit load of segways right now
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
