I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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