I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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