My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
