ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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