you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize