Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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