and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
