My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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