We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
