i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
