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There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
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