White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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