Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this

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  (810): I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room (810): Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this http://tfl.nu/ax0d
  Replies (2) Good night (820) Bad night (1588)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.

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  (678): I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time. http://tfl.nu/ogf0
  Replies (57) Good night (1413) Bad night (6886)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...

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  (703): Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches... http://tfl.nu/6ywp
  Replies (47) Good night (8318) Bad night (1036)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing

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  (774): i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing http://tfl.nu/cwrn
  Replies (2) Good night (710) Bad night (4043)
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  (408): View more from California

  You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.

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  (408): You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job. http://tfl.nu/u3yp
  Replies (15) Good night (4432) Bad night (898)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.

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  (417): So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes. http://tfl.nu/bjrk
  Replies (48) Good night (9367) Bad night (1360)
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  (845): View more from New York

  As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth

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  (845): As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth http://tfl.nu/7fqn
  Replies (9) Good night (4866) Bad night (853)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.

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  (937): I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide. http://tfl.nu/dybq
  Replies (4) Good night (3065) Bad night (870)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs

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  (443): also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs http://tfl.nu/bzfk
  Replies (3) Good night (2325) Bad night (934)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.

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  (908): You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams. http://tfl.nu/yznu
  Replies (23) Good night (3821) Bad night (1246)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.

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  (972): Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life. http://tfl.nu/6m4u
  Replies (11) Good night (2475) Bad night (830)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  Why?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."

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  (609): My professor just gave us a margarita recipe. (1-609): Why? (609): Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life." http://tfl.nu/ong0
  Replies (12) Good night (3338) Bad night (637)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  I like the way you think.

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  (303): I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming. (1-303): I like the way you think. http://tfl.nu/s14n
  Replies (6) Good night (1777) Bad night (645)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.

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  (731): you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful. http://tfl.nu/8o0g
  Replies (5) Good night (957) Bad night (461)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.

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  (314): I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious. http://tfl.nu/b9k8
  Replies (2) Good night (582) Bad night (350)

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