I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.