We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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