Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool http://tfl.nu/i9nx
  Replies (10) Good night (834) Bad night (2095)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar http://tfl.nu/9wq5
  Replies (4) Good night (3095) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal. http://tfl.nu/xpa1
  Replies (23) Good night (680) Bad night (4366)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused. http://tfl.nu/sovs
  Replies (100) Good night (1145) Bad night (5937)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  ..i think i can hear you losing your virginity

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): ..i think i can hear you losing your virginity http://tfl.nu/nv6r
  Replies (17) Good night (8554) Bad night (1954)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful? http://tfl.nu/75hl
  Replies (123) Good night (47559) Bad night (1954)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?! http://tfl.nu/aect
  Replies (111) Good night (1841) Bad night (7960)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark http://tfl.nu/xtgk
  Replies (4) Good night (2978) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad http://tfl.nu/1ob8
  Replies (3) Good night (1849) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now. http://tfl.nu/2p17
  Replies (7) Good night (1886) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  We don't really communicate like that.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Communicate like what?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): We don't really communicate like that. (781): Communicate like what? (617): Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants. http://tfl.nu/kuit
  Replies (3) Good night (1660) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out http://tfl.nu/mgiw
  Replies (9) Good night (1432) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams http://tfl.nu/vjrr
  Replies (2) Good night (633) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (906): 2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night? http://tfl.nu/07lp
  Replies (1) Good night (820) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it. http://tfl.nu/mbv5
  Replies (4) Good night (402) Bad night (194)

Randomize