All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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