so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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