i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
