who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
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Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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