Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
