he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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