I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize