Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
