As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
