i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
