Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
