He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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