He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
