if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
