forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I showed him my bush... on skype.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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