i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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