Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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