I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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