He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize