You just made me feel so damn special
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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