does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
