and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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