I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
