She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
