I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I woke up under a house in Key West
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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