This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
