i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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