I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
