Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I am spending my child support on dildos
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
