well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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