Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
