Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My vagina is officially offended.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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