shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
