Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
