o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize