Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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