nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
