i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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