My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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